The Rhymachine of Rufus McLean

At their monthly meeting, the ferociously feckless lairds of the Scottish Highlands are happily insulting each other and discussing their usual dastardly agenda of sheep-stealing and haggis rustling. Not much frightens them ' until they learn they'll have to do something romantic for their wives on Valentine's Day. They need a brilliant plan ' and a brilliant invention ' to save the day.